Ah,
marriage. I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring
my reflection, when I posed this question to my wife of 30 years: “Will you
still love me when I’m old, fat, and balding?”
She
answered, “I do.”
Michael Jordan, Moss Point, Mississippi
Notable Never-isms
• Never try to tell everything you know. It may take too
short a time. —Norman Ford
• Never trust a man when he’s in love, drunk, or running
for office. —Shirley Maclaine
• Never board
a commercial
aircraft if the
pilot is wearing
a tank top. —Dave Barry
• Never be in a
hurry to terminate a marriage. You
may need this person to finish a
sentence. —Erma Bombeck
• Never argue with a doctor; he has inside information. —Bob Elliott and Ray Goulding
• Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your
level; it’s cheaper. —Quentin
Crisp
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