David Letterman on Halloween:Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women.


Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.

“Come Out With Your Pants Up!”

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.

Drunkard’s Law


“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” Alcohol

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